Happy Healing

As we move forward into 2021 I would like to wish everyone happy healing. Given all the challenges we have gone through individually and as a collective, it doesn't seem appropriate to wish everyone a happy new year. There is still damage left behind from 2020, but I am holding onto hope that there is an opportunity to see a brilliant light ahead in the future. For now, I wish all of you a time of healing. Find the time to take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Create time to develop routines and rewards for yourself as much as you can. May you each have healthy and stable support systems and find comfort in as many people and activities as you can. You made it through a year of living hell and that means you're capable of going through anything else that may come into your future.

Stay safe, stay healthy, and be as kind as you can.

Love,

Dasia Zanders

Christmas Feels Blue

It's okay to not celebrate any holidays this year.

A few nights ago I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine. Well, more accurately, I let them share their thoughts and I tried to answer in a respectful way as well as understanding. Their statement was one I've seen online and heard a few times.

"It just doesn't feel like Christmas."

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I think we all can agree that the holidays this year just don't feel like they used to in the past and I think that's okay. If you're being accused of being a Grinch or Mr. Scrooge because you don't feel joyful, you're not in the wrong. This year has been the most challenging, heartbreaking, and truly disturbing year that will be imprinted in our history. People have lost their jobs, friends, family, their homes, their health, sense of self, and hope this year. The world is only rose gold for those of privilege who have actively chosen to be ignorant and pretend that nothing has happened and no one is suffering. If you're in any of these circumstances, there are no words I can give to you other than my sincere hopes that you continue to have the strength to do the next best thing and I hope you find safety, love, and hope. I wish I had more resources to be able to help, but as of right now all I can do is offer comforting words. If you are not part of any of these circumstances, you can find little bits of comfort in being thankful. That being said, I want to remind you that being grateful can be a component of happiness but it is not the same as feeling happy. You can be grateful and still not be happy and that is okay. You should always be grateful for the good in your life, but you do not need to always feel happy. That's not realistic and it limits the human experience. Anyone who encourages you to always be happy is encouraging you to not live an authentic human existence. There are plenty of valid reasons to not feel holiday cheer and you are not required to force yourself into feeling it. It does not make you a villain. It does not make you ungrateful. It does not mean you are bringing down the mood of other people. Your energy is your energy, if you are not actively harming someone else or spreading hate or hurting yourself, then you are not responsible for someone else's energy. For those who feel happy and are using the holidays as escapism from the disaster that is 2020, that's fine. You are allowed to do that but do not make other people feel shame or guilt for not being in the same mindset. Everyone's life has had to recalibrate to the demands and tasks of 2020 in ways that are dependent on opportunity and lifestyle. We aren't anywhere close to being over with 2020. When 2021 is here we will still have to face the massive aftermath of everything that has occurred in 2020. All this to say, take these last days of 2020 to feel whatever emotion you need to feel. It's alright if you're sad, angry, cheerful, hopeful, worried, anxious, or even numb to all emotion.

Stay safe. Stay as healthy as you can. Be as kind as you can.

Love,

Dasia Z.

Writing Holiday Chapters

When the book is released in Spring 2021 I want everyone to know that chapter 24 is in my top five most challenging chapters I ever worked on. Why? It was a holiday chapter! Not only was it a challenge in itself to show how eight different characters celebrate a holiday, but I also had characters that would typically not celebrate certain holidays due to cultural background and had to work them into situations that were suitable. It took me quite a while to iron out details and figure out what was too direct or too indirect but I managed to finish! I still thinking about what that process of writing that chapter was like which brings me to where we are right now.

Here are some things to consider when writing holiday chapters!

-Really know about the holiday you're going to write about. If you're writing about holidays that aren't commonly known or are connected to specific cultures or religions then you need to do research to avoid accidentally offending anyone or getting something wrong.

-Think about your characters and their overall personalities and thought process. How would they realistically react to this holiday? Are they happy to participate? Do they feel forced to join in the holiday activities? Are they a bit sad this time? Why do they feel the way they feel?

-Try not to make it a perfect Hallmark moment. This is no shade toward Hallmark, I love Hallmark movies and I love the coziness within them during holidays but you don't want to make everything a perfect cozy moment for your story. You want your readers to be able to feel that your characters are people they could meet in real life. It's okay for your characters to have a happy holiday experience but maybe keep from having a completely cookie-cutter moment.

-Holiday chapters don't have to be super serious though! Despite my previous statement, I do believe that holiday chapters can provide a nice break from everything else going on in the story. If it is appropriate for the flow of your story and the dynamics of your characters, you could use a holiday chapter to break up some drama and tension. Give your characters (and yourself) a sweet little break.

-Food is great! We love food! I will gladly read about what food is on the table. Does your character have a favorite? Is there a certain dish on the table that the character has to pretend to like? Does your character try to hide some of the leftovers for themselves later?

-Are people more or less polite during this time? Sometimes, when we are celebrating holidays we allow for snide remarks or the urge to start conflict to be ignored in favor of enjoying the holiday. Other times we might not be in the holiday spirit to a point that we provoke people into arguments.

-Family. Some families are wonderful and others are a nightmare, which category does your character's family fall into? Does it make the holidays fun or does your character barely get by?

-Gifts. Are gifts involved? Are there certain gifts people are expected to bring? Are the gifts bought or made?

-Try to fit the holidays into your plot. When I began the timeline in my story I had completely overlooked that major holidays would be coming up within that timeline. I was so focused on the other aspects of the story that I realized it would be unrealistic if I didn't make holiday chapters so I tried to find ways to work the holidays into my plot or help bring a better understanding to my characters. Use that chapter to reveal more about your character or amplify a situation.

-While it's important to tackle the chapter with some strategy and thought, it should still be fun! Have fun! Come up with crazy ideas, come up with cute ideas, go the traditional route, go the untraditional route, and make it the most wonderful chapter for you. Make it for you first then edit it for everyone else while still letting your presence be known.

Holiday chapters can be stressful but sometimes they are the most joyous to write! Enjoy writing everyone!