Power Word of 2020: Exploration

We're almost a month into 2020 so this is a bit late but Happy New Year everyone!

Every year I think about what energy I want to bring into my life and the lives of others, then I choose a power word to use for the entire year. Last year, my word was Empowerment and it brought me a lot of personal growth that I needed. This year, I chose the word Exploration and even though it's only 20 days in...it's been delightful!

1. Some of my family members visited at the start of the year and we spent an entire day together enjoying museums, art, and quaint shops.

2. During the edits of my book, there was a bit of a turn in the story line that brought me a closure I didn't know I needed.

3. I love all of my classes for this semester and even more of a win, I like all of my professors.

4. One of my best friends took me to Disney's Magic Kingdom over the weekend and I took so many wonderful photos while having an amazing time.

5. My mother, my lovely mother, gifted me with an early birthday present. She got me concert tickets to see my absolute favorite group. I am not going to say which group it is until after I attend the concert for safety purposes BUT I will post photos AFTER I go.

All of these lovely experiences have made me want to share some parts of them so I would like to add a page to the website dedicated to photos and small commentary on what I felt in those moments. This year I want to explore as much as I can in my life and I'm excited about all the content I'm creating. It's been over two years of writing a novel, but as I get closer to finishing the edits I fully believe that it's taken so long for one reason, timing. I thought the right time to release it would be in late 2018 or early 2019. However, the timing of 2020 seems perfect. It is perfect because I wrote the book in a place of loneliness and I completed the first round of editing in a place of healing and introspection. Now, as I'm going through the story again, I feel the most unapologetic and relaxed I have ever been. I'm looking forward to sharing all my stories with people, small or large, whether they are my personal experiences or experiences I witnessed, and I'm grateful that I have the opportunities to do so.

Hosting A Holiday Party Means...

We are now 6 days away from my holiday party. So here is a little post to lighten my spirits and hopefully yours too!

Hosting A Holiday Party Means:

- Planning a date and time for an event to invite people to

- Organizing the details of the event such as food, drinks, any activities, and decorations

- Thinking of a plan for any emergencies should they happen

- Actually begin the decorating

- Start to collect gifts for the guests

- Trying to wrap gifts as nicely as possible

- Begin to do deep cleaning of the house

- Trying to figure out an outfit to wear

- Trying to plan the jewelry to match with the outfit

- What makeup look am I doing? I gotta do a nice makeup look or else my whole vibe is wrong

- Make a playlist for the party

- Creating a scavenger hunt that's fun, age appropriate, and a little tricky to figure out

- Having to go grocery shopping because I am insane enough to actually COOK for my friends

- Also having to pick up the items needed for my hot chocolate station

- Needing to fill up the sweet treat goodbye containers that I give my friends as they leave

- Stressing out because you've found out two of the gifts you've ordered may not arrive on time

- Wondering if hosting a gathering is worth all the trouble?

- Questioning why I feel the need to do this every year?

- Starting to self-analyze and go into introspection for no reason

- Brainstorming a backup plan in case the gifts do not arrive in time

- Having to venture out in the world to get said backup gifts

- Having to wrap the backup gifts

- Cleaning the house again because all the glitter from ribbon has spread EVERYWHERE

- Having to actually start baking the cookies

- Cooking the meal

- Cleaning up the mess that comes from cooking and baking

- Welcoming people into your home

- Sacrificing having a seat because a good host doesn't allow their guest to sit on the floor

- Jumping up to get whatever the guest want

- Starting conversation with guests

- Maintaining conversation

- Trying not to let the conversation frizzle out into content silence paired with the occasional noncommittal humming

- Serving dinner

- Serving beverages

- Walking around and making sure everyone has had enough to eat and has enough to drink

- Asking if someone would like you to refill their drink or fix them more to eat all while silently hoping they tell you no and they'll do it themselves

- They say yes and now you must go refill their drink or plate

- Being one of the last to eat and drink at your own event

- Not finishing because someone calls your name

- Making a mental note to just eat more when everyone leaves later

- Begin more conversations

- Make lame jokes

- Make some good jokes

- Bask in the glory that you made people laugh

- Make your friends do a scavenger hunt that may or may not ruin friendships, but it's okay because "it's all in the name of fun!"

- Smooth over the rants and arguing that your competitive friends have engaged in

- Laugh it off

- Gift exchanges!

- Hold onto hope that the enigma of a friend that you got for secret santa actually likes your gift

- Celebrate if they like the gift

- Mourn your money in silence with a painted smile on your face if they don't

- Bring out the hot chocolate

- Playing the role of bartender for the hot chocolate

- Taking photos with everyone and making sure you get the photos to post later

- Wondering which photos to actually post

- Start funny conversations

- Ignore all the things that make growing up difficult

- Ignore any stress that's come from the outside world

- Relax when you see that everyone is enjoying being together

- Feel happy because everyone is getting along well and making plans for the future with excitement

- Schedule lunch dates and figuring out what movie you want to see next

- Wishing people a safe ride home as they leave

- Changing into pajamas and taking the makeup off

- Getting cozy and replaying it all in your head

- Smiling because you know it'll be the same place and time next year

My Secret Santa Curse

My mother's birthday used to be fairly simple. Since she's born so close to Christmas, we would roll it all into one day. That changed about nine years ago when some of my friends began coming to the house to drop off presents for my mother as a way to show their gratitude toward her. When we noticed this was becoming a pattern, we started creating a holiday party every year the weekend before Christmas. My friends come over, we eat, we chat, we sing, I make them do a ridiculous scavenger hunt that involves a Christmas Village, and then we exchange gifts. The more people express wanting to come, the harder buying gifts for everyone becomes so we've started to do a secret Santa. I think the secret Santa is a wonderful idea! It's fun, it keeps people from feeling obligated to buy multiple gifts for people, and it can motivate people to get creative with their gifts. A majority of my friends aren't too difficult to shop for and that makes it a bit easier for everyone.

Except for me.

I always get the one person in our group that is a complete enigma.

Every. Single. Year.

It never fails! It doesn't matter how many names are put in the hat or what number I pull, I always get this one person. This year we used a secret Santa computer generator and when I opened my email, I still saw this person's name staring at me. This person is lovely and I love them dearly, but shopping for this person always makes me nervous. What if they don't like it? What if this is the wrong color? What if they hate it? This thinking results in me going into a spiral and spending days upon days upon days contemplating whether or not I'm going to find the perfect present. I've chosen to call this my secret Santa curse, this is one of the small ways the universe chooses to balance my life. Everything has been going smoothly and according to plan, so naturally, I had to yet again have the one person that's the most intimidating to shop for. Fortunately, I've managed to discover a gift that I believe is going to be pretty, unique, and still true to this person's interest. This experience has taught me that the best way to handle gift-giving is to start absorbing the smallest bits of information about the person you're giving a gift to. I like to think I listen well, but this has taught me I listen when I deem it seriously important and I need to listen better at all times. We should pay attention to the people we care about, not only when they're in distress, but daily. So, next year, when I inevitably get this friend during secret Santa, I will hopefully have listened better through the year and be able to know exactly what gift to give.